作品名称：四级作文

作    者：2016级应用英语 陈洁

学    院：应用外语学院

指导教师：应用外语学院 钟蔚

作品背景：本文选自应用外语学院写作团队编辑的《学生优秀作文集》，初稿产生于作者2017年12月参加的四级考试，作者在写作翻译部分得分为165分，经过钟蔚老师的批改，全文增色了许多。

初稿

How to Handle the Relationship Between Doctors and Patients

2016级应用英语2班   陈洁

There are more and more contradictory[s1]   between doctors and patients. So how[s2]  can we do to handle this relationship?

Firstly, doctors should be responsible. It shows that doctors give the wrong medicine and brief examination to patients and that cause [s3] a series of problems. For example, some patients argue with those who make mistakes and some even kill them[s4] . If doctors take patients' health into consideration, the tense relation will[s5]  be relieved. In addition, patients ought to be thankful because doctors have no time eating and going out for fun. They always stay in hospital and focus on patients' health. So patients should not blame them but thank them. Lastly, some patients may feel painful and hopeless when they are ill. Therefore, doctors should calm them down and do immediate examination.

As an old saying goes, "A friend in need is a friend indeed."Only when doctors and patients consider each others, can they help each other, get better understanding with each other and be friendly with each other.

Comments:

The article gets a point and is well structured. It discusses the relationship between doctor and patients from with details. Besides some grammar mistakes, the language is good to contain various sentence structures.

终稿

How to Handle the Relationship Between Doctors and Patients

2016级应用英语2班   陈洁

When the economy of country is getting better, its people’s health is taken good care of. Meanwhile, there are more and more contradictories between doctors and patients. So what can we do to solve this problem?

Firstly, doctors should be responsible. In many medical conflicts, it happened that some doctors were too careless to give the wrong medicine and brief examination to patients, which causes a series of problems. For example, some patients got worse or even were killed after seeing those doctors, and they would go back to the hospital to complain with those who made. If all doctors take patients' health into consideration, trying to calm down their patients and take immediate treatment, the tense relation would be relieved. In addition, patients ought to be thankful. As known to all, the profession of being a doctor is rather hard. Doctors are too busy to deal with patients and their research work. They are often fully occupied to spare time eating or going out for fun. They always stay in hospital and focus on patients' health. Generally, patients may feel painful and hopeless when they are ill. However, doctors are human but not god in saving people’s lives. So patients should not blame their bad lucks on doctors but should thank doctors who help them.

As an old saying goes, "A friend in need is a friend indeed." Only when doctors and patients consider each others, can they help each other, get better understanding with each other and be friendly with each other.

Teacher’s comments:

The article is well-structured with a clear stand. After polishing, more details are fulfilled, and the language is richer.